My 18th Week of Keto. and the 5 mile run.

Last Friday, I weighed in at 151 pounds. To celebrate this new number, I went shopping for clothes and was able to fit into and purchase a size 10!

I haven’t been a size 10 in 14 years!

To celebrate this new and exciting number I decided to spoil myself at the Cheesecake Factory.

This was the first time I have been there in 18 weeks. It was a well-deserved cheat day. BUT, this well-deserved cheat day cost me 5 pounds!

Ever since Saturday I have been working my ass off to get back down to 151.  Sunday I completely finished my C25K app! I am now on to these things called “free runs”.  which really sound awesome, don’t they? Like I can spread my wings and leave the cage, to run amuck in fields of poppies and dandelions with the wind blowing through my hair and me singing … ” the hills are alive, with the sound of muuuuuuusiiic”. Except, it’s not like that at all. It’s still hot outside, I still run on concrete/pavement and turn a bright shade of red and have sweat pouring down my face. Nothing at all like the app leads me to believe these “free runs” are made of.

Today marked my longest run yet… FIVE miles! I think I am in denial about liking running. Whenever someone tells me to enjoy my run, I scoff at them.

” Psshhh, yeah right, like I could EVER like running… Give me a break”.

And yet, I find myself going out for jogs almost everyday…  It’s either I am a masochist, or I like running, or both, but I am definitely in denial about both of those things. Hopefully I will be able to embrace these things about myself one day soon.

Pretty soon, I will be at the 150 mark. When I hit that, I will have ten more pounds to go before my next goal of 140! (this time with no trips to the cheesecake factory).

I have a FitBit now, this will most definitely help with my goals, I am sure of it.

I wont let another 2 weeks go by without updating my blog, it helps keep me accountable and to be honest, it feels like I am confiding in a friend, because outside of this, there aren’t many people who really give a damn. Even if you all don’t, which I am sure is a high likelihood. IT FEELS like you do, be it true or not, it still feels that way, and it warms my heart and keeps me going 🙂

 

 

 

Back to Keto – Changing the plans again! Week 16

I just completed Week 9, Day  1 of the C25k.!  Only two more days of the app to go until I run 3 miles! =D I can’t believe I made it here. Looking back, I was huffing and puffing and cursing my lungs, and my excess fat. I just ran for 30 minutes without stopping!  I am proud of myself tonight.

Last post, I said I was jumping off of the keto-wagon, but as it turns out, my hives are still present even with more carbs in my diet. So, I have made the decision that I am going back to keto, but I am going to eat many more veggies, and cut down on the dairy. We’ll see how it goes. The fact is, I need to get back to keto, I need the familiarity of it. When I tried to eat noodles, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, about to fall head first into a carb binge. Its easier to do than I thought, and thinking of gaining a bunch of weight back because of something stupid like that terrifies me!

In other great news, I might be starting school in August! Friday, the admissions department called me and told me I passed my exams with flying colors, and have enough points to secure an interview with the director of the program. I am so anxious. In order to ease my nerves about it all, I thought some retail therapy would do me some good. So, today, I went to Old Navy and bought a cute dress for the interview, I fit into a Medium size!!! Best believe I bought it, and I am going to ROCK that size medium dress 🙂 My next hurdle is the interview.

In the meantime, I am going to keep on keto’ing on, continue running and going to the gym.  my future is starting to take shape! I am feeling proud and hopeful. NEVER GIVING UP!!

 

– Shana

Welcome Change – Week 14, Day 6

This word carries with it a multitude of feelings, doesn’t it? Good, bad, sad, happy…  all-encompassing. Thinking back to my past nearly all changes that terrified me in the beginning turned out to be great opportunities to learn new things and grow as a person and this gives me some comfort.

Four months ago, I embarked on a journey to change my diet, with the intent on changing my body into a more healthy version. In the process I have changed my attitude, self-esteem, lost weight , basically, I have changed my life for the better 🙂 and this gives me the motivation to keep reaching my goals. I am a little over halfway there when it comes to my weight, which is awesome. I have created a delicious arsenal of my favorite keto recipes, and have learned how to read/change my macros like a champ. It is safe to say I am one satisfied lady when it comes to the keto diet, which is why it REALLY bugs me that I have to change my diet…

When I started keto 4 months ago, I had developed hives, nothing too severe, I attributed it to hormones and stress at the time and they never really went away. I would always be itchy at some point during the day and I was never without one part of my skin being red, bumpy and itchy. Rewind to 3 weeks ago when I was in Wyoming, when I kicked myself out of keto… The hives disappeared.  (I knew deep down that keto was the cause, but I was in denial. Why? Well, it’s because keto was working so fantastically to help me lose weight, I really didn’t care that I was broken out in hives! The diet worked!) When I got home, I got back on the wagon, and started eating according to plan, and as soon as I was back into keto ( the very moment ) My body was on fire with hives. The worst I have seen to date. It was at that moment, I realized that I really need to change things.

Here is what I will not do : Go back to eating the SAD (standard american diet) Diet again. My mood, my mental health, my body have all improved since I ditched that crazy mess.

Here is what I am thinking I will do to change things :  Introduce more fruits and veggies into my diet. Nothing overboard, I am not going to binge on apples and carrots, but I am not going to shun them anymore. Thinking of slowly boosting my carb numbers and find a happy place for my body because less than 30g a day was obviously not working for me.

This means, that I am no longer going to be eating keto, which means, I will have to change my blog name. This also means that everyone that started reading this blog because of keto, we will no longer share our diets together, and this makes me sad. I think its great how the diet brings people together that want to share experiences/food/thoughts together! I am really going to miss being able to share on the forums and reddit daily.

I need to come up with a new blog name now. And I don’t know what… I welcome any input 😛

I go into school Monday (had to postpone it). I have been studying up on math so that I can ace that exam. 🙂 This is going to be another HUGE change in my life. Ahh! I am nervous and excited and I am going to give it 100% of my heart and passion.

IN other non-change related news, I haven’t stepped on the scale this week, because I am scared of what the number will say.. I want the number to be lower than last time!!!! But I know deep down that it probably hasn’t moved or that its gone up a few pounds. And now that keto is going to be out of the picture, I worry that the scale will be wonky for a little while.

 

I hope you are having a great weekend!

-Shana

Guess who’s back? – Week 14, Day 3

That crazy girl than sings while she runs. Yep, in full force I started up my c25k again. It has been approximately 4 weeks since I ran last, and I started back where I left off… and I thought tonight deserved a recap, its one worth blogging about.

Week 8, Day 1

Miles ran –  2.46

Miles walked – .57

Number of terrifying toads that crossed Shana’s path – 5

Number of times that Shana screamed bloody murder when paths crossed with said terrifying toads –  5

There was a recent monsoon here a couple of days ago, which means nasty hibernating toads are awake and hopping the sidewalks and streets, and they are HUGE and slimy-looking.  I have an unnatural fear of things that slither and crawl. My biggest fear is of snakes, like frozen in fear scared.

Regardless, I ran for 28 minutes, even if I was a wee-bit jumpy and on edge, I got it done. It was a little hot outside in the 90’s at 9pm. If I decide to continue this crazy behavior, I might need to consider buying of those “cooling towels”.

Tomorrow, I hit the gym in the morning! =D

 

I hope you all have had a great Wednesday! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and for sharing this important time in my life with me. If it weren’t for me seeing my followers grow a bit each day, I doubt this experience would have been as special as it has been these past 4 months 🙂 I am so grateful.

See you all tomorrow, Goodnight ❤

– Shana

Dusting off – Week 14, Day 2

 

 

I am making a promise to myself that no matter how hard things get, that I will still keep up the fight to achieve my goals. I am also promising that when I fall down, I wont stay down. I will be getting back up and dusting myself off.

Last post I caught myself negative talking, and my life has NO ROOM for that kind of negativity anymore! I systematically cut negativity from my life, like surgery.

 

The reasons why I was negative thinking yesterday is because I am fearful of whats unknown. I am going to use this opportunity to tackle my fear head on.  I will study up on math, I have a great memory (thanks keto) and I will be my bravest. In fact, from now on, when I see an opportunity to  be social, I am going to be. The time to change is now.

In other news, I went to the gym this afternoon! I am so happy! I thought that my butt would be handed to me, and that my stamina would have suffered from the month off and that wasn’t the case. I am learning what my body and mind need, and I need the gym for both of them.

I have a bit of keto knowledge for those that read and follow the diet …. Atkins bars need to be a very seldom treat, NOT once a day. At least for me, I have found that getting back into keto and eating them daily just wasnt really happening for me.  Must be the sugar alcohols? I don’t know.

I am dusting myself off, getting back in the saddle and getting my focus back. No more days off of the gym, and my diet is getting back into its comfortable place of staying on track. With my diet and exercise getting in sync with how they were it gives me some solace that I can tackle other things. Feeling less overwhelmed and more focused, getting my groove back!!  Feels good and its about time!

 

Goodnight friends! I will be back tomorrow 🙂

“Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful” -Zig Ziglar

xoxo – Shana

So, this is a rough patch…

Well, it’s arrived, I knew it was only a matter of time before the road became very challenging. It’s not just my diet, that seems to be the easier part of life ( except for you damn delicious Atkin’s chocolate snack bars, I curse the day I ever sank my teeth into that amazing gooey “good for my diet” perfection ). What’s getting the best of me right now is “real life” or the adult world that I have so expertly avoided for the past 11 years. Well, I am a mother of 3 children, it’s not like I was just sitting on my ass… Even though, mentally, it feels like I have been.
I made the decision not long ago that I would be going back to school so that I could finally get a career! Ya know, to support myself and be a contributing member of society. Well, I went into the school I am going to be applying for today (yesterday, as it’s midnight now) and I first noticed that I would be one of the “older” students that would be attending. Where has my life gone?!

I met with the advisor, and she then started giving me an interview, for which I was not ready! I stumbled my way thru the questions, like a fool. Apparently, I have been living a hermits life under a rock for the past 11 years because me and talking to strangers just DOES NOT come all that natural or easy. In fact, just thinking of having to do it again has my hands getting clammy.

After the god-awful interview, she gave me a basic English comprehension test. She had assured me that not many people pass it the first time around and that I will get a second try at it if I didn’t get the passing score of 20. I scored a 26, and while I appreciated her enthusiasm that I had passed it, I wondered if it was because she thought I was seriously dumb from the interview. I have been instructed to get my transcripts for a follow up appointment and math exam on this upcoming Friday …

I looked at my transcripts from High school and college, and because I was such a glorious fuck up with my life back then I can only imagine what this lady is going to think of me, probably something like this…

I will be absolutely shocked if I get into the program, and incredibly grateful, but mostly shocked.

I think not having been to the gym or out to run in a month is starting to adversely effect my mental well-being. I haven’t felt this down on myself for a while.

I’m not quitting though! Maybe tomorrow morning I will force myself to get to the gym.

Feeling great! Week 11, Day 4

 

I am feeling GREAT today.

Yesterday, I finished week 7 of my c25k app. 25 mins of running! 6 weeks ago, I would have called myself crazy and thought that I could never get to where I am now. But, I am here! It hasn’t been the easiest of roads, my main obstacle has been my mind. The nagging inner voice of ” Oh this is getting hard, you should quit” and having to push through it instead of saying ” I can’t do this”, and changing it to ” I can totally do this, look how far I’ve come”. It feels really good. I know that I am still in the middle of my journey, I know it’s not celebration time yet, but seeing all my progress really gets me amped up to keep going.

Today, I made it to the gym. I spent 45 mins on the elliptical and broke the biggest sweat I have had in a long time and kept pushing myself. It feels so satisfying and lifts my mood to cheery and smiley. I love this version of myself. Such an upgrade from the chubby, grumpy girl of nearly 3 months ago.

I am a little concerned about the vacation I am going to be taking in a week.  I will be around my parents who are “feeders” for an entire week, and there will be lots of long car rides which means cheap nasty food will be around me all the time.  Which means temptations will be greater than usual.  After that, it’s a vacation to Wyoming, and staying there for a week. Lord knows I am going to have everything forbidden thrown in my face over there. Its time to make a list of things I need to buy at the grocery store when I get there.  I guess the reason why I am sharing this is because I need to validate and mentally prepare for it.  Two whole weeks of vacation!  How am I going to work out?! Will I be able to maintain Keto?! I think the 11 weeks of keto I have done are a good solid base for me to stand on. I have MFP and my self-discipline, that should keep me straight, right?!  I would like it if I came back from vacation having lost some weight rather than having gained weight. Let’s see if I can do it!

In the meantime, I will Keep Calm and Keto On, continue to kick ass at the gym, pool and pavement.

Funny little side note : A friend admitted to me that she didn’t think I could keep up my diet and exercise for long, thought I would have quit weeks ago…. and I am still going! HA!

Week 11, Day 2

Went for my week 7 day 1 run tonight. 25 mins of running! I did it! I am pretty happy about it. I thought I would have had my ass kicked and that I would be swearing and regretting ever starting running but that isn’t the case. My feet are a little sore tonight. It might be time for me to start saving up my dimes and pennies for a new pair of running shoes.

I got my blood work back from the Dr. and I am happy to report that all of my levels are looking good! Except for my thyroid, the numbers were a bit high, which puts me into the hypothyroidism range.  A few weeks back I went in there complaining about how my weight loss has stalled. The doctor told me to up my calories, and guess what happened, I went in on Monday and they weighed me… up 1.5 pounds.  The doctor told me it was most likely due to my thyroid. Now, I am taking thyroid medication. Not at all too happy about it, BUT if it helps me shed these unwanted pounds then I certainly will not complain!

I am going to try a new goal for the month of July. NO DRINKING ALCOHOL! IT will be  Dry-July challenge. I could certainly use a buddy for this. I welcome you all to join me 🙂 it can be a joint endeavor. If not, well, I am sure I will be on here complaining often.  My social life kinda revolves around drinking, so my friends are gonna have to deal with a Sober Shana. Sorry guys.  I have a feeling that drinking is seriously impeding my weight loss. Instead of burning up fat, my body is burning up alcohol and before it gets around to burning fat again, I go ahead and give it more alcohol to burn. That cycle must end.  Plus, it’s just not healthy.

This whole next week is going to be an interesting one. I am down to my last 30 bucks. I have a full 5 meals planned for dinners, the rest is gonna have to be either leftovers, or something creative.  Needless to say, I didn’t meal plan very well for these past 2 weeks. I was slightly lazy and enjoyed the pool nearly every afternoon, focused on getting to the gym, and catching up on reading. It’s going to be tight, but I feel up for the challenge 🙂

See you soon,

– Shana ❤

The Battle – Temptations, Failures, Regret and moving forward.

This marks week 10ish of my journey on keto. A journey that has served me well. A loss of more than 20 pounds and a budding self-esteem.  This also marks the week of quite possibly the worst yet faced temptations and ultimately (tonight) failure of my strong resolve and self-discipline.  This past week, my blog has remained silent mostly because I have been in constant battle with my demons and temptations to fall of the wagon.

Well, tonight I fell, not as hard as I could have, not as bad as the planned “cheat day” I have in my future when I deserve one. No, tonight was the culmination of the past seven days catching up with me. This past week, I have had 4 social nights of drinking alcohol. Crazy.  And I made the mistake of stepping on the scale this morning and finding out that I have gained 3 pounds. and have been stalled for 2 weeks with my weight.  I cried this morning. I sobbed actually. I cried because in these past two weeks, I have struggled with the temptations of my past. I have had fantasies about nachos and chocolate cake, and while I never indulged, I have craved, wanted, and denied myself of the two things I have wanted the most. NOT EVEN ONCE did I cave in. My master plan of a cheat day is to go to the Cheesecake Factory and order a plate of Nachos and then after a slice of chocolate cake. Instead, I have been a social butterfly and had 4 nights of drinking… I might as well have had my cheat day at the cheesecake factory.  This past week, I gave found myself struggling with my motivation, it just simply wasn’t there! My attitude was lack-luster, my resolve was luke-warm. It sucked.

This morning.  I found myself 3 pounds heavier ( after tonight I am sure it will be heavier).  I went over to a friend’s house tonight and played a drinking game version of Yahtzee. It was fun, and I lost miserably. While I lost, I managed to eat 4 taquitos, drink 5 vodka tonics and then come home to gobble down a slice of pizza and a bbq chicken wrap. Needless to say, I will not be wanting to step on the scale for at least a week. I am disappointed in myself.

I don’t even know if I will be in keto in the morning, and if I am, I will be shocked, more shocked than I have ever been in a long long time. I have been disappointed and discouraged all day, and that led me to a point where I caved into my weakness. I am not proud. My belly feels stuffed full of carby things that I am ashamed to have eaten. I had a good run of 2 months of strict keto. And I had a weak moment and a morose attitude today.  But… I am moving forward. I am not going to let this determine the outcome of 1) my diet or 2) my determination.

I failed tonight. I did. I failed. But tomorrow, I am starting all over again. When you fall off the horse, you get back on. And that is what I going to do. I might have failed tonight, but that doesn’t mean all this hard work up until tonight has been for nothing. I refuse to let all this hard work go to waste. I cannot do that. I have worked so hard, and I have been so proud of myself. I cannot let tonight be the downfall.  Instead, I will use this as a learning experience, and if not a learning experience, a new starting point.  I knew this whole time while I had such a winning streak that there would come a day where I would fall flat on my face…  I just didn’t know that today was going to be that day.

Instead of regretting and lamenting, I am going to be thankful for the fucking delicious taquitos, pizza and alcohol. Next time I mess up this badly, it’s going to be much much worse and ON PURPOSE. Maybe after my next 15 pounds lost mark, I will go to the Cheesecake Factory and make these fantasies come true. But until then, I am going to hop back on the horse. I am going to document exactly how badly this falling on my face has been. I think I owe it not only to myself to be transparent and honest, but to those who have followed my blog up until this point as well. Hopefully, I will find some strength in it.

I write this with a drunk, heavy heart. It’s time to go to bed and time TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER!

Ugh….

I will report tomorrow with damages done and my plan to get my act back together.  Sorry I let myself down…

-Shana

milestones and motivation – Week 9, Day 5

Motivation. I am drunk with it. I have been for 9 weeks. I live every day thinking about it, eating with it in mind, working out with it, when I lay my head down to sleep at night I think about it and then I dream about it. In my mind I have this vision of where my body can be if I keep working HARD. How my body will look if I keep pushing my limits in the gym. I am proud of myself for everyday that I stay true to my goals. This is what keeps me going more than anything else. I know that I didn’t get fat overnight, and I also know that I won’t get thin overnight either.

Last week I had gone to the doctor to get my blood work done. I want to make sure that my diet is making my body happy. My muscles may be as uncomfortable as all get out, but I need my organs to be running top notch. I stepped on the scale, and the medical assistant wrote it down. 163lbs. When the doctor came in, I asked her what I had weighed on my previous visit last February. 189lbs. yikes!!

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale, and this is what I saw.

Lets do some math : 189 – 158.5 = 30.5 🙂 I have officially lost 30 pounds!

I was elated! I still am. I celebrated last night with a couple of glasses of wine with my dear friend, ended up pretty toasted and woke up this morning with a terrible hangover. Feeling like I was hit by a truck, I threw on my gym clothes and went to spin class with a raging headache and nausea. Typically, I am pretty good at keeping up with the instructor but this morning, I was dragging. Hard. By the time class was over, I was feeling unsatisfied with my performance, and sick. So, I went home, rested, napped, and ate. Sometime around dinner, I decided I was going back to the gym. I HAD to get my satisfaction. And I DID! I feel so much better 🙂 30 mins on the treadmill doing 4mph on an incline up to 8.5. I kicked my ass. Also, did 10 mins of abs.

I wanted to share a picture of me in Feb. when I was at my heaviest, and one that I took yesterday of my face for comparison.

I’m not at my goal yet, but it feels damn good to see progress! Really.Damn.Good.