My 18th Week of Keto. and the 5 mile run.

Last Friday, I weighed in at 151 pounds. To celebrate this new number, I went shopping for clothes and was able to fit into and purchase a size 10!

I haven’t been a size 10 in 14 years!

To celebrate this new and exciting number I decided to spoil myself at the Cheesecake Factory.

This was the first time I have been there in 18 weeks. It was a well-deserved cheat day. BUT, this well-deserved cheat day cost me 5 pounds!

Ever since Saturday I have been working my ass off to get back down to 151.  Sunday I completely finished my C25K app! I am now on to these things called “free runs”.  which really sound awesome, don’t they? Like I can spread my wings and leave the cage, to run amuck in fields of poppies and dandelions with the wind blowing through my hair and me singing … ” the hills are alive, with the sound of muuuuuuusiiic”. Except, it’s not like that at all. It’s still hot outside, I still run on concrete/pavement and turn a bright shade of red and have sweat pouring down my face. Nothing at all like the app leads me to believe these “free runs” are made of.

Today marked my longest run yet… FIVE miles! I think I am in denial about liking running. Whenever someone tells me to enjoy my run, I scoff at them.

” Psshhh, yeah right, like I could EVER like running… Give me a break”.

And yet, I find myself going out for jogs almost everyday…  It’s either I am a masochist, or I like running, or both, but I am definitely in denial about both of those things. Hopefully I will be able to embrace these things about myself one day soon.

Pretty soon, I will be at the 150 mark. When I hit that, I will have ten more pounds to go before my next goal of 140! (this time with no trips to the cheesecake factory).

I have a FitBit now, this will most definitely help with my goals, I am sure of it.

I wont let another 2 weeks go by without updating my blog, it helps keep me accountable and to be honest, it feels like I am confiding in a friend, because outside of this, there aren’t many people who really give a damn. Even if you all don’t, which I am sure is a high likelihood. IT FEELS like you do, be it true or not, it still feels that way, and it warms my heart and keeps me going 🙂

 

 

 

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Back to Keto – Changing the plans again! Week 16

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I just completed Week 9, Day  1 of the C25k.!  Only two more days of the app to go until I run 3 miles! =D I can’t believe I made it here. Looking back, I was huffing and puffing and cursing my lungs, and my excess fat. I just ran for 30 minutes without stopping!  I am proud of myself tonight.

Last post, I said I was jumping off of the keto-wagon, but as it turns out, my hives are still present even with more carbs in my diet. So, I have made the decision that I am going back to keto, but I am going to eat many more veggies, and cut down on the dairy. We’ll see how it goes. The fact is, I need to get back to keto, I need the familiarity of it. When I tried to eat noodles, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, about to fall head first into a carb binge. Its easier to do than I thought, and thinking of gaining a bunch of weight back because of something stupid like that terrifies me!

In other great news, I might be starting school in August! Friday, the admissions department called me and told me I passed my exams with flying colors, and have enough points to secure an interview with the director of the program. I am so anxious. In order to ease my nerves about it all, I thought some retail therapy would do me some good. So, today, I went to Old Navy and bought a cute dress for the interview, I fit into a Medium size!!! Best believe I bought it, and I am going to ROCK that size medium dress 🙂 My next hurdle is the interview.

In the meantime, I am going to keep on keto’ing on, continue running and going to the gym.  my future is starting to take shape! I am feeling proud and hopeful. NEVER GIVING UP!!

 

– Shana

Welcome Change – Week 14, Day 6

ALLTHETHINGS change

This word carries with it a multitude of feelings, doesn’t it? Good, bad, sad, happy…  all-encompassing. Thinking back to my past nearly all changes that terrified me in the beginning turned out to be great opportunities to learn new things and grow as a person and this gives me some comfort.

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Four months ago, I embarked on a journey to change my diet, with the intent on changing my body into a more healthy version. In the process I have changed my attitude, self-esteem, lost weight , basically, I have changed my life for the better 🙂 and this gives me the motivation to keep reaching my goals. I am a little over halfway there when it comes to my weight, which is awesome. I have created a delicious arsenal of my favorite keto recipes, and have learned how to read/change my macros like a champ. It is safe to say I am one satisfied lady when it comes to the keto diet, which is why it REALLY bugs me that I have to change my diet…

When I started keto 4 months ago, I had developed hives, nothing too severe, I attributed it to hormones and stress at the time and they never really went away. I would always be itchy at some point during the day and I was never without one part of my skin being red, bumpy and itchy. Rewind to 3 weeks ago when I was in Wyoming, when I kicked myself out of keto… The hives disappeared.  (I knew deep down that keto was the cause, but I was in denial. Why? Well, it’s because keto was working so fantastically to help me lose weight, I really didn’t care that I was broken out in hives! The diet worked!) When I got home, I got back on the wagon, and started eating according to plan, and as soon as I was back into keto ( the very moment ) My body was on fire with hives. The worst I have seen to date. It was at that moment, I realized that I really need to change things.

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Here is what I will not do : Go back to eating the SAD (standard american diet) Diet again. My mood, my mental health, my body have all improved since I ditched that crazy mess.

Here is what I am thinking I will do to change things :  Introduce more fruits and veggies into my diet. Nothing overboard, I am not going to binge on apples and carrots, but I am not going to shun them anymore. Thinking of slowly boosting my carb numbers and find a happy place for my body because less than 30g a day was obviously not working for me.

This means, that I am no longer going to be eating keto, which means, I will have to change my blog name. This also means that everyone that started reading this blog because of keto, we will no longer share our diets together, and this makes me sad. I think its great how the diet brings people together that want to share experiences/food/thoughts together! I am really going to miss being able to share on the forums and reddit daily.

I need to come up with a new blog name now. And I don’t know what… I welcome any input 😛

I go into school Monday (had to postpone it). I have been studying up on math so that I can ace that exam. 🙂 This is going to be another HUGE change in my life. Ahh! I am nervous and excited and I am going to give it 100% of my heart and passion.

IN other non-change related news, I haven’t stepped on the scale this week, because I am scared of what the number will say.. I want the number to be lower than last time!!!! But I know deep down that it probably hasn’t moved or that its gone up a few pounds. And now that keto is going to be out of the picture, I worry that the scale will be wonky for a little while.

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I hope you are having a great weekend!

-Shana

HOME

Finally, after 3 long weeks, I am back home and back to my life.

It was great seeing family, but I am so happy to be back.

Sadly, I wasn’t as strict with my working out as I had hoped, but to be honest, I kinda knew it wasn’t going to happen. Jogging in unknown areas seems dangerous to me plus I was supposed to be on vacation!!! So, there was no working out, but I did think about it everyday!

My diet was doing great until I got to Wyoming. It would have been fine, but it turned out my trip to Wyoming was one where I was doing physical labor for 8+ hours during the day, I was famished and exhausted that entire time, so, I ended up kicking myself out of Keto.  *sigh*  I know, I know, I was 12 weeks into my diet, doing well, and sticking to the plan!  I am not that upset by it, I mean, it is a slight bummer, BUT…..

I weighed myself when I got home and I didn’t gain a single pound in three weeks, I stayed the same weight. I call that a success, I was almost certain that I was going to come home 10 pounds heavier, but that was not the case at all.  I guess tearing up a basement, pulling out old nasty carpet and de-cluttering 30 years worth of junk in the span of 5 days helped keep the weight gain away.

When I got home, I met up with my friends and I ended up really making sure I was kicked out of Keto by eating 3 pieces of chocolate cake and having pina coladas all night. NO REGRETS!

It’s all back to plan now, I am working on getting back into Keto, and I am vowing to get to the gym tomorrow morning! Moving on towards my fitness goals!  (It will be interesting to see how much 3 weeks of not working out will tire me out tomorrow) haha!

Happy to be home, to be writing again, and sharing my daily struggles, and triumphs. =D

Hope you all have been well

xoxo

-Shana

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I don’t understand my wonky body these days. I stepped on the scale to find that I had lost half a pound since yesterday, and I wasn’t even kicked out of keto. Seriously?!  At least I know now that it is going to take quite a bit of carbs to push me out of keto. Sugar is still something that I will not take my chances with.  I was under the impression that the tiniest mouthful of anything forbidden was going to be the undoing of ketosis. And the prospect of having to go thru the keto-flu again is enough to make me freak out if I have an off-plan day.

I am learning to ease up and not freak out so easily, I am a taking a vow to keep my alcohol consumption to ONE DAY a week, if at all.

So, today didn’t suck as bad as I thought. I didn’t fall completely off the wagon, but got scared enough to behave. I also learned that having a small break from the rigorous meal plan I follow, won’t kill me, make me gain 20 lbs overnight, or undo my hard work.

Tomorrow morning at 530am will be my next C25K week. I am up to running for 25 minutes! The thought of it makes me a little anxious to be honest. Every time I reach a new week on that darn app I get anxious, I wonder at what point it will be like ” meh, no big deal.”? Maybe after the app is finished, I’m not sure. So i have some anxiety about the run, I am not quite sure why, I know I will make it just fine, AND I will be able to see the sunrise in the morning. Sounds like a good start to the day tomorrow.

Keep Calm Keto On

– Shana

The Battle – Temptations, Failures, Regret and moving forward.

This marks week 10ish of my journey on keto. A journey that has served me well. A loss of more than 20 pounds and a budding self-esteem.  This also marks the week of quite possibly the worst yet faced temptations and ultimately (tonight) failure of my strong resolve and self-discipline.  This past week, my blog has remained silent mostly because I have been in constant battle with my demons and temptations to fall of the wagon.

Well, tonight I fell, not as hard as I could have, not as bad as the planned “cheat day” I have in my future when I deserve one. No, tonight was the culmination of the past seven days catching up with me. This past week, I have had 4 social nights of drinking alcohol. Crazy.  And I made the mistake of stepping on the scale this morning and finding out that I have gained 3 pounds. and have been stalled for 2 weeks with my weight.  I cried this morning. I sobbed actually. I cried because in these past two weeks, I have struggled with the temptations of my past. I have had fantasies about nachos and chocolate cake, and while I never indulged, I have craved, wanted, and denied myself of the two things I have wanted the most. NOT EVEN ONCE did I cave in. My master plan of a cheat day is to go to the Cheesecake Factory and order a plate of Nachos and then after a slice of chocolate cake. Instead, I have been a social butterfly and had 4 nights of drinking… I might as well have had my cheat day at the cheesecake factory.  This past week, I gave found myself struggling with my motivation, it just simply wasn’t there! My attitude was lack-luster, my resolve was luke-warm. It sucked.

This morning.  I found myself 3 pounds heavier ( after tonight I am sure it will be heavier).  I went over to a friend’s house tonight and played a drinking game version of Yahtzee. It was fun, and I lost miserably. While I lost, I managed to eat 4 taquitos, drink 5 vodka tonics and then come home to gobble down a slice of pizza and a bbq chicken wrap. Needless to say, I will not be wanting to step on the scale for at least a week. I am disappointed in myself.

I don’t even know if I will be in keto in the morning, and if I am, I will be shocked, more shocked than I have ever been in a long long time. I have been disappointed and discouraged all day, and that led me to a point where I caved into my weakness. I am not proud. My belly feels stuffed full of carby things that I am ashamed to have eaten. I had a good run of 2 months of strict keto. And I had a weak moment and a morose attitude today.  But… I am moving forward. I am not going to let this determine the outcome of 1) my diet or 2) my determination.

I failed tonight. I did. I failed. But tomorrow, I am starting all over again. When you fall off the horse, you get back on. And that is what I going to do. I might have failed tonight, but that doesn’t mean all this hard work up until tonight has been for nothing. I refuse to let all this hard work go to waste. I cannot do that. I have worked so hard, and I have been so proud of myself. I cannot let tonight be the downfall.  Instead, I will use this as a learning experience, and if not a learning experience, a new starting point.  I knew this whole time while I had such a winning streak that there would come a day where I would fall flat on my face…  I just didn’t know that today was going to be that day.

Instead of regretting and lamenting, I am going to be thankful for the fucking delicious taquitos, pizza and alcohol. Next time I mess up this badly, it’s going to be much much worse and ON PURPOSE. Maybe after my next 15 pounds lost mark, I will go to the Cheesecake Factory and make these fantasies come true. But until then, I am going to hop back on the horse. I am going to document exactly how badly this falling on my face has been. I think I owe it not only to myself to be transparent and honest, but to those who have followed my blog up until this point as well. Hopefully, I will find some strength in it.

I write this with a drunk, heavy heart. It’s time to go to bed and time TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER!

Ugh….

I will report tomorrow with damages done and my plan to get my act back together.  Sorry I let myself down…

-Shana

milestones and motivation – Week 9, Day 5

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Motivation. I am drunk with it. I have been for 9 weeks. I live every day thinking about it, eating with it in mind, working out with it, when I lay my head down to sleep at night I think about it and then I dream about it. In my mind I have this vision of where my body can be if I keep working HARD. How my body will look if I keep pushing my limits in the gym. I am proud of myself for everyday that I stay true to my goals. This is what keeps me going more than anything else. I know that I didn’t get fat overnight, and I also know that I won’t get thin overnight either.

Last week I had gone to the doctor to get my blood work done. I want to make sure that my diet is making my body happy. My muscles may be as uncomfortable as all get out, but I need my organs to be running top notch. I stepped on the scale, and the medical assistant wrote it down. 163lbs. When the doctor came in, I asked her what I had weighed on my previous visit last February. 189lbs. yikes!!

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale, and this is what I saw.

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Lets do some math : 189 – 158.5 = 30.5 🙂 I have officially lost 30 pounds!

I was elated! I still am. I celebrated last night with a couple of glasses of wine with my dear friend, ended up pretty toasted and woke up this morning with a terrible hangover. Feeling like I was hit by a truck, I threw on my gym clothes and went to spin class with a raging headache and nausea. Typically, I am pretty good at keeping up with the instructor but this morning, I was dragging. Hard. By the time class was over, I was feeling unsatisfied with my performance, and sick. So, I went home, rested, napped, and ate. Sometime around dinner, I decided I was going back to the gym. I HAD to get my satisfaction. And I DID! I feel so much better 🙂 30 mins on the treadmill doing 4mph on an incline up to 8.5. I kicked my ass. Also, did 10 mins of abs.

I wanted to share a picture of me in Feb. when I was at my heaviest, and one that I took yesterday of my face for comparison.

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I’m not at my goal yet, but it feels damn good to see progress! Really.Damn.Good.