Where did my stamina go?

Let me begin by stating a cold hard fact.

I lost my stamina.

It used to be I could go a full 5k, easy breezy. Instead of re-living the past and focusing on what I used to be able to do, I need to have a very clear picture of where I am now and what it will take to be where I want to be.

I thought that last night I could run without my c25k running app. Oh- ho-ho no no no! I will not be doing that again. There was no structure, and nothing to focus on except for how of breath I was, and how super jiggle-y my fat was. Having the app gives me a goal, and you feel accomplished after each section of running you do, or at least I do.

Tonight, I will be doing Week 4, Day 1. Which will put me at intervals of running for 5 minutes and walking for 2 1/2 minutes and that sounds like it will push me just enough. I need to ease back into things for the sake of my knee.
I have been feeling completely drained lately. Lethargic, strange appetite, emotional and I had no idea why. I stumbled upon this article today about how there is going to be a full-moon on friday. Makes sense! I’m preparing to turn into a werewolf. just kidding… but it does explain the strange energies and emotions I am dealing with currently. I realize I might be the only crazy person that feels this way, and I am okay with that.

I also recently became attuned to practice LaHoChi, which is an energy healing modality. I think being exposed to and opening up to new energies might also have a lot to do with why I feel so off lately. After some researching I did online, It turns out this is a common occurrence when someone undergoes the ascension process, Of which I thought you could only go through once… ( I went through this last january/february). NOPE, it’s a process. And silly me, thinking I was done with it, nope… still expanding and growing in my conciousness.Thank God for that though, right? When we stop learning … we might as well be dead 😛

Hope you are all having a good week so far!

xoxox

Shana

Be like water.

As I sit here, staring at this blank page I am flooded with thoughts and emotions. It’s almost like standing at the precipice all over again, I remember the feeling in my stomach when I started this blog over a year ago, and it’s the same feeling.  The feeling that :

1) I am starting something BIG and its going to change the course of my life.

2) I am going to start running again… (despite my knee troubles)

3) A new and improved Shana is on the horizon!

Since I have written last, there have been major changes. My grandfather died. I became vegetarian. I started meditating and praying more, A LOT more. Injured my knee (torn medial meniscus). Got Straight A’s my first semester back at college ( WOOHOOOO!!!). Invited to join Honors Society.  Lost 20 lbs. Gained 20 lbs. Lost a couple of friends and made some new friends. Remodeled my house. and that’s just the major things…

Needless to say, I have been a busy, busy girl. I think the most profound change has been my spiritual life. I see things differently now, and my approach to life and the people I encounter on a daily basis is much different, and in a good way, a beautiful way.

I am creating more! I started a line of body butters and aromatherapy sprays, I plan on documenting that process more. In addition to getting back on track with running.

I also have no idea what I am doing with being a vegetarian. I have been eating the same 5 meals in rotation, so my blog will probably be my sounding board for recipes that I try as well.

See? Big Changes. I am reminded as I wrote this that I must be like water.. If I pour myself into a cup, I muse become the cup. If I pour myself into being a new business owner, I must BE the business owner. If I pour myself into vegetarianism I must BE vegetarianism. HA! BE whatever it is you are doing, it’s the only way to remain present and experience fully all that moment has to offer.

Cheers to new beginnings!

XOXOX

-Shana

Hello, Confidence. It’s been a while!

I am happy to finally report back to you all and say, that my absence from writing hasn’t been because of going into hiding from falling off the wagon or from not working my tail off. Believe me,  I have BEEN WORKING MY TAIL OFF!  And I am happy to report back to you with great news.

I am finally a size medium. for real!

Here I am, in the dressing room, trying on Medium sized shorts and top.  I was so happy and amazed that I immediately started to cry the happiest of tears and then took a picture! This is a pretty huge milestone for me. And I think back to when I started, and I am really impressed with myself for sticking out this long.  Now, I need to follow this up with the obligatory… I still have work ahead of me.

Am I happy with how I look? HELL YES! For the first time in years, I can say that with full confidence. The main goal I had when I started this journey was to get my confidence back!  Here it is.

And here is a picture of the transformation thus far…

 

I have the Keto diet, my supportive friends here, and the C25k app to thank for the progress, AND my determination to not give up. There were many moments of weakness along the way, and lots of stalls but that’s okay… that’s called life.

I have transitioned some in my diet from keto to paleo, I guess??. Still keeping it high fat and low carb, I allowed oats into my life and my current carb intake is less than 100g a day and keeping my calorie count in check.

I have started a new workout routine.  I am on week 3 of it, actually.  I have started lifting weights at the gym! This means I am no longer stepping on the scale, and I am keeping progress documented by measurements, how I feel, and by pictures. The scale was driving me crazy. It became a game of numbers instead of being healthy, making right choices and determining how I was feeling on a daily basis. The scale served its purpose in the beginning of my journey, and it kept me going on the right track.

I have lots of time on my hands now that school fell through. I have until December to really step up my game in the gym and working out.  It has helped me so much with how I feel on a chemical level, feeling great 🙂

I hope you are all doing well!

xoxox

-Shana

 

 

My 18th Week of Keto. and the 5 mile run.

Last Friday, I weighed in at 151 pounds. To celebrate this new number, I went shopping for clothes and was able to fit into and purchase a size 10!

I haven’t been a size 10 in 14 years!

To celebrate this new and exciting number I decided to spoil myself at the Cheesecake Factory.

This was the first time I have been there in 18 weeks. It was a well-deserved cheat day. BUT, this well-deserved cheat day cost me 5 pounds!

Ever since Saturday I have been working my ass off to get back down to 151.  Sunday I completely finished my C25K app! I am now on to these things called “free runs”.  which really sound awesome, don’t they? Like I can spread my wings and leave the cage, to run amuck in fields of poppies and dandelions with the wind blowing through my hair and me singing … ” the hills are alive, with the sound of muuuuuuusiiic”. Except, it’s not like that at all. It’s still hot outside, I still run on concrete/pavement and turn a bright shade of red and have sweat pouring down my face. Nothing at all like the app leads me to believe these “free runs” are made of.

Today marked my longest run yet… FIVE miles! I think I am in denial about liking running. Whenever someone tells me to enjoy my run, I scoff at them.

” Psshhh, yeah right, like I could EVER like running… Give me a break”.

And yet, I find myself going out for jogs almost everyday…  It’s either I am a masochist, or I like running, or both, but I am definitely in denial about both of those things. Hopefully I will be able to embrace these things about myself one day soon.

Pretty soon, I will be at the 150 mark. When I hit that, I will have ten more pounds to go before my next goal of 140! (this time with no trips to the cheesecake factory).

I have a FitBit now, this will most definitely help with my goals, I am sure of it.

I wont let another 2 weeks go by without updating my blog, it helps keep me accountable and to be honest, it feels like I am confiding in a friend, because outside of this, there aren’t many people who really give a damn. Even if you all don’t, which I am sure is a high likelihood. IT FEELS like you do, be it true or not, it still feels that way, and it warms my heart and keeps me going 🙂

 

 

 

Back to Keto – Changing the plans again! Week 16

I just completed Week 9, Day  1 of the C25k.!  Only two more days of the app to go until I run 3 miles! =D I can’t believe I made it here. Looking back, I was huffing and puffing and cursing my lungs, and my excess fat. I just ran for 30 minutes without stopping!  I am proud of myself tonight.

Last post, I said I was jumping off of the keto-wagon, but as it turns out, my hives are still present even with more carbs in my diet. So, I have made the decision that I am going back to keto, but I am going to eat many more veggies, and cut down on the dairy. We’ll see how it goes. The fact is, I need to get back to keto, I need the familiarity of it. When I tried to eat noodles, I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, about to fall head first into a carb binge. Its easier to do than I thought, and thinking of gaining a bunch of weight back because of something stupid like that terrifies me!

In other great news, I might be starting school in August! Friday, the admissions department called me and told me I passed my exams with flying colors, and have enough points to secure an interview with the director of the program. I am so anxious. In order to ease my nerves about it all, I thought some retail therapy would do me some good. So, today, I went to Old Navy and bought a cute dress for the interview, I fit into a Medium size!!! Best believe I bought it, and I am going to ROCK that size medium dress 🙂 My next hurdle is the interview.

In the meantime, I am going to keep on keto’ing on, continue running and going to the gym.  my future is starting to take shape! I am feeling proud and hopeful. NEVER GIVING UP!!

 

– Shana

Guess who’s back? – Week 14, Day 3

That crazy girl than sings while she runs. Yep, in full force I started up my c25k again. It has been approximately 4 weeks since I ran last, and I started back where I left off… and I thought tonight deserved a recap, its one worth blogging about.

Week 8, Day 1

Miles ran –  2.46

Miles walked – .57

Number of terrifying toads that crossed Shana’s path – 5

Number of times that Shana screamed bloody murder when paths crossed with said terrifying toads –  5

There was a recent monsoon here a couple of days ago, which means nasty hibernating toads are awake and hopping the sidewalks and streets, and they are HUGE and slimy-looking.  I have an unnatural fear of things that slither and crawl. My biggest fear is of snakes, like frozen in fear scared.

Regardless, I ran for 28 minutes, even if I was a wee-bit jumpy and on edge, I got it done. It was a little hot outside in the 90’s at 9pm. If I decide to continue this crazy behavior, I might need to consider buying of those “cooling towels”.

Tomorrow, I hit the gym in the morning! =D

 

I hope you all have had a great Wednesday! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and for sharing this important time in my life with me. If it weren’t for me seeing my followers grow a bit each day, I doubt this experience would have been as special as it has been these past 4 months 🙂 I am so grateful.

See you all tomorrow, Goodnight ❤

– Shana

Feeling great! Week 11, Day 4

 

I am feeling GREAT today.

Yesterday, I finished week 7 of my c25k app. 25 mins of running! 6 weeks ago, I would have called myself crazy and thought that I could never get to where I am now. But, I am here! It hasn’t been the easiest of roads, my main obstacle has been my mind. The nagging inner voice of ” Oh this is getting hard, you should quit” and having to push through it instead of saying ” I can’t do this”, and changing it to ” I can totally do this, look how far I’ve come”. It feels really good. I know that I am still in the middle of my journey, I know it’s not celebration time yet, but seeing all my progress really gets me amped up to keep going.

Today, I made it to the gym. I spent 45 mins on the elliptical and broke the biggest sweat I have had in a long time and kept pushing myself. It feels so satisfying and lifts my mood to cheery and smiley. I love this version of myself. Such an upgrade from the chubby, grumpy girl of nearly 3 months ago.

I am a little concerned about the vacation I am going to be taking in a week.  I will be around my parents who are “feeders” for an entire week, and there will be lots of long car rides which means cheap nasty food will be around me all the time.  Which means temptations will be greater than usual.  After that, it’s a vacation to Wyoming, and staying there for a week. Lord knows I am going to have everything forbidden thrown in my face over there. Its time to make a list of things I need to buy at the grocery store when I get there.  I guess the reason why I am sharing this is because I need to validate and mentally prepare for it.  Two whole weeks of vacation!  How am I going to work out?! Will I be able to maintain Keto?! I think the 11 weeks of keto I have done are a good solid base for me to stand on. I have MFP and my self-discipline, that should keep me straight, right?!  I would like it if I came back from vacation having lost some weight rather than having gained weight. Let’s see if I can do it!

In the meantime, I will Keep Calm and Keto On, continue to kick ass at the gym, pool and pavement.

Funny little side note : A friend admitted to me that she didn’t think I could keep up my diet and exercise for long, thought I would have quit weeks ago…. and I am still going! HA!

Week 11, Day 2

Went for my week 7 day 1 run tonight. 25 mins of running! I did it! I am pretty happy about it. I thought I would have had my ass kicked and that I would be swearing and regretting ever starting running but that isn’t the case. My feet are a little sore tonight. It might be time for me to start saving up my dimes and pennies for a new pair of running shoes.

I got my blood work back from the Dr. and I am happy to report that all of my levels are looking good! Except for my thyroid, the numbers were a bit high, which puts me into the hypothyroidism range.  A few weeks back I went in there complaining about how my weight loss has stalled. The doctor told me to up my calories, and guess what happened, I went in on Monday and they weighed me… up 1.5 pounds.  The doctor told me it was most likely due to my thyroid. Now, I am taking thyroid medication. Not at all too happy about it, BUT if it helps me shed these unwanted pounds then I certainly will not complain!

I am going to try a new goal for the month of July. NO DRINKING ALCOHOL! IT will be  Dry-July challenge. I could certainly use a buddy for this. I welcome you all to join me 🙂 it can be a joint endeavor. If not, well, I am sure I will be on here complaining often.  My social life kinda revolves around drinking, so my friends are gonna have to deal with a Sober Shana. Sorry guys.  I have a feeling that drinking is seriously impeding my weight loss. Instead of burning up fat, my body is burning up alcohol and before it gets around to burning fat again, I go ahead and give it more alcohol to burn. That cycle must end.  Plus, it’s just not healthy.

This whole next week is going to be an interesting one. I am down to my last 30 bucks. I have a full 5 meals planned for dinners, the rest is gonna have to be either leftovers, or something creative.  Needless to say, I didn’t meal plan very well for these past 2 weeks. I was slightly lazy and enjoyed the pool nearly every afternoon, focused on getting to the gym, and catching up on reading. It’s going to be tight, but I feel up for the challenge 🙂

See you soon,

– Shana ❤

Listen to your body- Week 9, Day 7

This concept has proven to be a difficult one for me to grasp in the past. It’s easy to confuse the mind with the body when you don’t work at differentiating the two. Mind says one thing and the body says another (same goes for matters of the heart). It’s also easy for the mind to impose itself on the body.

“My body deserves this piece of chocolate cake.”

“I can get away with eating a handful (or 2 or 10) of Doritos.”

Do any of these sound familiar?  They were familiar to me also a couple of months ago, and sometimes my mind still tries to talk me into things I shouldn’t do. But today I had the opposite problem with my mind speaking for my body…

As you dear readers know, I am quite heavily into motivation. I post pictures of it, I talk about it nonstop, I vow nearly every post to that I will never give up. Well, I have many new phrases stuck in my head from listening to this amazing motivational speaker that I found online, and one  goes ” You have to want to succeed more than you want to sleep”.

Here is where my story comes into play. This morning I rose early with plans of going to a garage sale, picking up breakfast for my family and then hitting the gym. Sometime between the garage sale and the grocery store, I had an allergic reaction to something. I do not know what. I was covered on my legs and arms with red itchy spots. I was so incredibly uncomfortable that I took a healthy dose of Benadryl.  And just like that my plans to go to the gym became severely compromised. I could barely keep my eyes open. But the words

” you have to want to succeed more than you want to sleep”

kept playing on repeat in my head. I got my gym clothes on, and the kids got their bathing suits, I was determined to go to the gym. I want to succeed more than I want to sleep… Well, I walked into the building and I felt like I was going to fall asleep while standing. It was at this point I realized. I need to listen to my body, there was no way my mind could push through the sleepy haze I found myself in.

So, I listened and went back home and slept all afternoon, and woke up to clear skin. Success of a different kind.

I ended up eating a tortilla and fried breaded chicken for lunch because I was exhausted and hungry. This made the pain of not getting to the gym worse, BUT… I am going on a run tonight. So, Everything ended up just fine after all. I will just pretend this afternoon never happened  I will run my best tonight and work that much harder at spin class tomorrow. It’s all good.

Off course I wouldn’t sign off my blog tonight without leaving you a piece of encouragement and motivation. Here is the video I was talking about.

The words really resonate, very motivating.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and sharing this little bit of life with me!

week 7, day 5

After every run at night, I look up at the stars while I walk home. It’s always beautiful, and makes me feel like I am a part of something greater. I absolutely love my moments with the stars after my run. It feels good for my soul. Tonight, while logging on to post another update about my run, I came across this video and I don’t just think it was by coincidence. Some times things are just meant to be spoken and shared.

The Most Astounding Fact from Max Schlickenmeyer on Vimeo.

Have a beautiful weekend!