Week 8, Day 4 – Freedom

   Finally, I am able to sit down and write. Yesterday was my last day of childcare. My whole world has opened up to so many possibilities and opportunities. To say I am filled with excitement would be an understatement.  I  am grateful for the experience and will look back on this time with good memories, but it’s time to move on.

   My weight is down 23 pounds! Halfway to my goal weight.

    This past Monday I went to the gym with a friend. It’s always nice to have a buddy because you have someone else there to push you, however, I pushed too hard. My legs are still screaming at me. We did the treadmill on an incline going up one every 2 minutes, all the way up to 10! At 4mph. Dear God!  Talk about destroying my legs…  I am thinking about doing some HIIT in my house during the hot summer months. I will also continue my running at night.  

    I’m up to 20 minute jogs! That’s such a huge difference from when I started this. It’s still a challenge. I can feel my ass shake, jiggle and wiggle. I would like to find. Workout that will shape up my hips, thighs and ass. Not having to wake up to an alarm this morning. I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. I also need to start selling my soap.

So much time for activities!!!

week 7, day 5

After every run at night, I look up at the stars while I walk home. It’s always beautiful, and makes me feel like I am a part of something greater. I absolutely love my moments with the stars after my run. It feels good for my soul. Tonight, while logging on to post another update about my run, I came across this video and I don’t just think it was by coincidence. Some times things are just meant to be spoken and shared.

The Most Astounding Fact from Max Schlickenmeyer on Vimeo.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Can I get a “HELL YEAH”?!

Bright and early this morning, I stood in front of my scale. Hesitating and wondering if I should wait until Friday before I weighed myself. I shrugged and said “fuck it”, stepped on the scale, AND……. *drum roll*

I have officially lost 20 pounds! 🙂

The smile that swept across my face and the tears of joy that met the corners of my smile made every moment, every temptation, doubt and fear worth it. I feel triumphant today, even though the road ahead of me is only halfway completed… I fucking made it halfway. It almost feels as if I am at a new starting point. New ground to stand on to work on making more progress.

Today was a beautiful day. I was happy for all of it. Tears of joy were always near the surface.

I went on the last day of week 4 on c25k. It was much easier that the earlier 2 days. However, during the last 5 minute cooldown, walking down the road to my house at the corner of a busy street, my elation was somewhat popped. A car with 2 young boys driving by yelled out their window about ” look at that ass shake!!!” and they erupted in laughter. Is it enough to make me give up running HELL NO, is it enough to make me give up and stop all the hard work? HELL NO. Is it motivation to keep moving forward and not give up? yeah.

did it hurt my happy feelings? yeah. a little. I know I shouldn’t let it. I know that I have no emotional investment in these strangers that yelled at me out the side of their car. I know that I should shrug it off and say ” fuck em ” and move on. I don’t understand why I am letting that deflate me even a little bit. Wish I knew.

What does it teach me? well, I have learned all those lessons early on in my 20s, to not be a fucking asshole. Maybe, their lessons have yet to be learned. I swear, sometimes I think the youth of today are being raised by a pack of wolves. No manners, no social graces, no common courtesy. I don’t mean that for everyone, but for the assholes I run into, that’s what I tend to think.

ANYWAYS, look at that, a sad little paragraph where I was proud, and 3 larger ones of complaints and grievances about something that was said in the span of 2 seconds. That’s stupid! I worked SEVEN WEEKS on losing this 20 pounds! What kind of idiot would I be to let a remark that took all of 2 seconds, take any of that pride and happiness of 7 weeks of work away??
Silly, silly me 🙂

Monday! Week 7, Day 1

 

This.

Oh. My. Holy. Hamstrings! I am on week 4, day 2 of my c25k app. Tonight, I had several factors playing with my mind. Firstly, the temp, it was 90 degrees outside tonight. Which actually wasn’t that big of a deal because there was a breeze. My water intake today was not enough. I am in the middle of reading a really great book that I am having a hard time putting down (burning eyes all day, seriously). Regardless of all the excuses J found myself coming up with. I used the fact that I was actually coming up with that many excuses to get off my ass and just go run. I didn’t listen to music… This made things more difficult. I am never doing that again. plus, I couldn’t sing! There were zero distractions from what I was doing. I am happy that I went though, I ran off that mug cake that I ate after dinner! 🙂

8 more days of work! Then, I’m free as bird!

Week 6, Day 7 – Motivation despite the B.S

That picture above is the wallpaper for my phone. Whenever I look down at my phone, I see it and feel a surge of empowerment. Not just with Keto, but with life itself. My inner bad-ass is emerging. I am no longer a pushover, or a someone that shies away from making my feelings and desires known. WE only have this one itsy-tiny bit of time on this planet to make our lives into something awesome that we can feel a sense of pride about.

Make your optimism come true! Think of this for a moment. It’s so simple it can be mind-blowing. Our attitudes are 90% of the battle. I have found this to be true with everything I have been trying to accomplish this past month.

This morning, I woke up feeling kinda crappy. This weekend has totally kicked my emotion’s ass. Why? Well, nothing has been going as I had planned. My photographer had to postpone to today, shark week arrived, my eyes are PUFFY this morning (probably from the crying and then the antidotal margarita), plus I have to paint my nails, get the girl’s hair done, do my makeup which is going to be a monumental task because of the puffy eyes. Get this family of five looking SHARP by 5pm so we can all be stunning in photos. It’s enough to make my head spin.

Instead of having a spinning head, I am going to employ some meditation this morning, form a list, and tackle one task at a time. Hopefully, my puffy eyes will diminish as the day progresses?? I hope they do! Please god, and if there happens to be a patron saint of puffy eyes, HELP ME!

I refused to step on the scale this morning, today is not the day for that. However, I will make good choices with my food, that I can be sure of.

So, despite all the bullshit, I am motivated. Motivated to tackle this day with passion, purpose, and happiness. It will be a great day. I just need to keep my attitude in check. Maybe I should go on a run.

I hope you all have had a great weekend. Make your Sunday a kick-ass one! See you soon.

Update : I went on a run. Ran more than I walked, and it kicked my ass. But at least it stopped my crappy mood.

Week 6, Day 5 – Plateau Bust!

   I woke up this morning with little faith that I had lost any weight since yesterday. Why? Oh, my usual excuse… Margaritas. I didn’t over do it last night, even if it was a 32oz. Margarita. I just had one. :).  I woke up, did my (what’s becoming weekly) “pray and pee” hoping my colors show ketosis. And they did. 

Successkid.jpg

  I decided at that point, why not step on the scale? 

 

I had had to rub my eyes… I was certain that I am seeing things! So, I stepped off the scale and got back on. It wasn’t lying to me! You know what those numbers mean???? I don’t care it’s it’s just a half a pound.. Those numbers mean I busted through my plateau and lost all that Mother’s Day weight! Hell yeah!   

   I have said it numerous times, but sometimes this doesn’t even feel like a diet. I get to eat the yummiest foods. I never feel deprived. Yesterday, I made ragu sauce that slowly cooked on the stovetop all day. Oh god, was it good! And instead of pasta, I made “noodles” out of zuchini! It was pretty damn good.  It’s really not about the noodles when you make a sauce like yesterday’s. 

   Life happened last night and I couldn’t get my run in. I will try again tomorrow.  Not beating myself up about it. The scale doesn’t lie, and I’m a happy girl today!!

Have a beautiful day! See you later!

 

 

I stepped on the scale this morning, and I am losing the weight I gained from my cheat day, finally. One pound to go before its like Sunday never even happened. Hopefully, the pounds will continue to drop. Maybe that cheat day is what my metabolism needed to get kick-started again. This cheat of mine last Sunday has played with my mind more than my body. I am grateful for the lessons I am learning. Also grateful for gaining insight on my own self-discipline, determination, and motivations. This past month has taught me a lot.

It’s a bit like climbing up the stairs, if you lose your footing and fall forward, you don’t fall down the entire flight of stairs (hopefully). Instead, you get back up and continue to climb the damn stairs until you get to where you were going. The goal is to make it up the stairs with as little bumps and bruises as possible. And you certainly don’t need to make your bumps and bruises worse by beating yourself up for falling down.

I am not going to give up OR quit. I am looking forward to staying on the road towards success and achieving my goals. NO ONE will ever bring me down or lessen my inner light. I am going to shine on, bitches! 🙂 😛

Mother’s Day…. To cheat!!!

  They call it cheating for a reason, the way I understand it now is because of the guilty feelings I had the next day.  I cheated while drunk on vodka tonics, too. Sushi, pizza, garlic bread, flaming hot Cheetos, I cheated on my diet with all those things in one day!

Which made the shame so much worse! It was like a one night stand with that poorly kept guy from the bar, that had the worlds dirtiest apartment. I could only hope and pray I didn’t catch ringworm from his sheets that were about to walk off his bed.
This is exactly the same feeling I had when I realized, I had just blown my cheat day on a frozen pizza, garlic bread and too much vodka… I could have done such a better job at misbehaving! I could have had a greasy pizza or a double bacon cheeseburger, but no… I had to get drunk and make a poor choice. *sigh*

The worst part of this cheat was the feeling of regret the next morning. The good news, I didn’t get kicked out of keto. Sure, I probably delayed things a bit. Oh well.

I did learn another valuable lesson. If you are going to cheat (on your diet) Make it worth every effing bite of whatever forbidden thing you are eating and have no regrets. Also,

Don’t Cheat!

I was a good girl today, keeping calm and keto’ing on!

W5,D5 – like a virgin

Foodgasm. That’s what I just had.

Let me give you some back-story. I have been doing the keto thing for 5 weeks, 5 days. In that time, I haven’t cheated at all, I have shied away from all pasteries, sugar, cakes, cookies, you name it.  

The worst cravings I have ever had just swept over me for the past 2 hours. It was intense and crazy. It covered all forbidden things, including beer, Doritos, hot Cheetos, and chocolate cake. I laid in bed trying to make them stop. ( I think me being so close to shark-week is the culprit here), Finally, out of desperation I took to the Internet… Sure, there are tons of yummy looking things that I can make and can eat, but they all took way too long. I needed something NOW!

Here it is. (Forgive the poor lighting, please)

What you see here is a mug cake! ( I added a tad more sweetener until the batter was approved by my taste buds). A super-fast and easy, and Oh.my.god delicious creation. I am happy I waited so long to try something so sinful tasting. How is this thing I’m on even called a diet?!?? I haven’t eaten this delicious of food since I lived with my parents. AND losing weight?!? Seems too good to be true sometimes and then I sit back and SMILE because it’s really real. This weekend I will be trying out other delicious recipes and if any make my eyes roll back and my toes curl, you can be sure I will share it.

Here is the recipe for this chocolate mug cake . Which I might add tastes amazing with some whipped topping. I can’t even imagine how good this would be with sugar free vanilla ice cream!

I woke up late this morning, partly because I had a late night of thinking too much. And not even about anything relevant to life, or even real! Just fictional circumstances where I could possibly find myself in life and going over how I would handle them. Then, after I was done thinking of these ridiculous things, I would become aggravated at my brain! “STFU brain, I need to sleep!!”
Waking up to the sound of my daughters alarm, I knew I only had precious minutes to prepare. The blog got pushed aside.

Is it true that doing cardio and running actually prolongs weight loss? I read that today, somewhere online. I know, I know… You can’t believe everything you read. But if someone out there reads this, and knows the answer, would you please tell me? I really want to know!
I am 2 pounds away From losing 20 pounds! I know I can’t celebrate yet. I still have 2 pounds to go, but, knowing that I have come this far already made me cry! I am so proud of myself and happy! All on my own, on my own steam and to the beat of my own drum I keep moving forward.

I appreciate all the encouraging words I have been receiving! It is very validating!:) thanks for being here with me!