So, this is a rough patch…

Well, it’s arrived, I knew it was only a matter of time before the road became very challenging. It’s not just my diet, that seems to be the easier part of life ( except for you damn delicious Atkin’s chocolate snack bars, I curse the day I ever sank my teeth into that amazing gooey “good for my diet” perfection ). What’s getting the best of me right now is “real life” or the adult world that I have so expertly avoided for the past 11 years. Well, I am a mother of 3 children, it’s not like I was just sitting on my ass… Even though, mentally, it feels like I have been.
I made the decision not long ago that I would be going back to school so that I could finally get a career! Ya know, to support myself and be a contributing member of society. Well, I went into the school I am going to be applying for today (yesterday, as it’s midnight now) and I first noticed that I would be one of the “older” students that would be attending. Where has my life gone?!

I met with the advisor, and she then started giving me an interview, for which I was not ready! I stumbled my way thru the questions, like a fool. Apparently, I have been living a hermits life under a rock for the past 11 years because me and talking to strangers just DOES NOT come all that natural or easy. In fact, just thinking of having to do it again has my hands getting clammy.

After the god-awful interview, she gave me a basic English comprehension test. She had assured me that not many people pass it the first time around and that I will get a second try at it if I didn’t get the passing score of 20. I scored a 26, and while I appreciated her enthusiasm that I had passed it, I wondered if it was because she thought I was seriously dumb from the interview. I have been instructed to get my transcripts for a follow up appointment and math exam on this upcoming Friday …

I looked at my transcripts from High school and college, and because I was such a glorious fuck up with my life back then I can only imagine what this lady is going to think of me, probably something like this…


I will be absolutely shocked if I get into the program, and incredibly grateful, but mostly shocked.

I think not having been to the gym or out to run in a month is starting to adversely effect my mental well-being. I haven’t felt this down on myself for a while.

I’m not quitting though! Maybe tomorrow morning I will force myself to get to the gym.


5 thoughts on “So, this is a rough patch…

  1. YOU ARE NOT ALONE – when I don’t work out or eat right the same thing happens to me. I start to down myself in every aspect of life. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There is nothing wrong with being one of the “older” people in class it just means you have more real world knowledge!

  2. I’ve been there. I went back to school 1,5 years ago to finish high-school. Everytime an exam sneaks up on me, all goes down eating & everything else.

    Try to keep you head up, think positive and not be to hard on yourself πŸ™‚

    • Thank you!! Yes, I want this and as soon as I find out I am accepted, my tone towards the whole thing will most definitely change to one of determination. Right now it’s ambivalence because I don’t want to get my hopes up too high in case of not being let in. Ya know? Thanks for the encouragement, I needed that πŸ™‚

      • I applied for a pre-engineering course, I quallified – but didn’t get in unfortunately. I might get in later during this summer – even after school starts, but I figured out if that is the case I’ll have to say no 😦

        You can do it, I’m sure of it. Just remember to take some time off and relax. (And don’t work 100% beside school! Done it and it hurts when it’s over!)

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