Feeling great! Week 11, Day 4

 

I-can-do-it-Picture-Quote

I am feeling GREAT today.

Yesterday, I finished week 7 of my c25k app. 25 mins of running! 6 weeks ago, I would have called myself crazy and thought that I could never get to where I am now. But, I am here! It hasn’t been the easiest of roads, my main obstacle has been my mind. The nagging inner voice of ” Oh this is getting hard, you should quit” and having to push through it instead of saying ” I can’t do this”, and changing it to ” I can totally do this, look how far I’ve come”. It feels really good. I know that I am still in the middle of my journey, I know it’s not celebration time yet, but seeing all my progress really gets me amped up to keep going.

Today, I made it to the gym. I spent 45 mins on the elliptical and broke the biggest sweat I have had in a long time and kept pushing myself. It feels so satisfying and lifts my mood to cheery and smiley. I love this version of myself. Such an upgrade from the chubby, grumpy girl of nearly 3 months ago.

Walt-Disney-2

I am a little concerned about the vacation I am going to be taking in a week.  I will be around my parents who are “feeders” for an entire week, and there will be lots of long car rides which means cheap nasty food will be around me all the time.  Which means temptations will be greater than usual.  After that, it’s a vacation to Wyoming, and staying there for a week. Lord knows I am going to have everything forbidden thrown in my face over there. Its time to make a list of things I need to buy at the grocery store when I get there.  I guess the reason why I am sharing this is because I need to validate and mentally prepare for it.  Two whole weeks of vacation!  How am I going to work out?! Will I be able to maintain Keto?! I think the 11 weeks of keto I have done are a good solid base for me to stand on. I have MFP and my self-discipline, that should keep me straight, right?!  I would like it if I came back from vacation having lost some weight rather than having gained weight. Let’s see if I can do it!

In the meantime, I will Keep Calm and Keto On, continue to kick ass at the gym, pool and pavement.

unless_you_puke_faint_or_die_keep_going_2.

Funny little side note : A friend admitted to me that she didn’t think I could keep up my diet and exercise for long, thought I would have quit weeks ago…. and I am still going! HA!

Advertisements

Week 11, Day 2

image

Went for my week 7 day 1 run tonight. 25 mins of running! I did it! I am pretty happy about it. I thought I would have had my ass kicked and that I would be swearing and regretting ever starting running but that isn’t the case. My feet are a little sore tonight. It might be time for me to start saving up my dimes and pennies for a new pair of running shoes.

I got my blood work back from the Dr. and I am happy to report that all of my levels are looking good! Except for my thyroid, the numbers were a bit high, which puts me into the hypothyroidism range.  A few weeks back I went in there complaining about how my weight loss has stalled. The doctor told me to up my calories, and guess what happened, I went in on Monday and they weighed me… up 1.5 pounds.  The doctor told me it was most likely due to my thyroid. Now, I am taking thyroid medication. Not at all too happy about it, BUT if it helps me shed these unwanted pounds then I certainly will not complain!

I am going to try a new goal for the month of July. NO DRINKING ALCOHOL! IT will be  Dry-July challenge. I could certainly use a buddy for this. I welcome you all to join me 🙂 it can be a joint endeavor. If not, well, I am sure I will be on here complaining often.  My social life kinda revolves around drinking, so my friends are gonna have to deal with a Sober Shana. Sorry guys.  I have a feeling that drinking is seriously impeding my weight loss. Instead of burning up fat, my body is burning up alcohol and before it gets around to burning fat again, I go ahead and give it more alcohol to burn. That cycle must end.  Plus, it’s just not healthy.

This whole next week is going to be an interesting one. I am down to my last 30 bucks. I have a full 5 meals planned for dinners, the rest is gonna have to be either leftovers, or something creative.  Needless to say, I didn’t meal plan very well for these past 2 weeks. I was slightly lazy and enjoyed the pool nearly every afternoon, focused on getting to the gym, and catching up on reading. It’s going to be tight, but I feel up for the challenge 🙂

See you soon,

– Shana ❤

image

 

 

I don’t understand my wonky body these days. I stepped on the scale to find that I had lost half a pound since yesterday, and I wasn’t even kicked out of keto. Seriously?!  At least I know now that it is going to take quite a bit of carbs to push me out of keto. Sugar is still something that I will not take my chances with.  I was under the impression that the tiniest mouthful of anything forbidden was going to be the undoing of ketosis. And the prospect of having to go thru the keto-flu again is enough to make me freak out if I have an off-plan day.

I am learning to ease up and not freak out so easily, I am a taking a vow to keep my alcohol consumption to ONE DAY a week, if at all.

So, today didn’t suck as bad as I thought. I didn’t fall completely off the wagon, but got scared enough to behave. I also learned that having a small break from the rigorous meal plan I follow, won’t kill me, make me gain 20 lbs overnight, or undo my hard work.

Tomorrow morning at 530am will be my next C25K week. I am up to running for 25 minutes! The thought of it makes me a little anxious to be honest. Every time I reach a new week on that darn app I get anxious, I wonder at what point it will be like ” meh, no big deal.”? Maybe after the app is finished, I’m not sure. So i have some anxiety about the run, I am not quite sure why, I know I will make it just fine, AND I will be able to see the sunrise in the morning. Sounds like a good start to the day tomorrow.

Keep Calm Keto On

– Shana

The Battle – Temptations, Failures, Regret and moving forward.

This marks week 10ish of my journey on keto. A journey that has served me well. A loss of more than 20 pounds and a budding self-esteem.  This also marks the week of quite possibly the worst yet faced temptations and ultimately (tonight) failure of my strong resolve and self-discipline.  This past week, my blog has remained silent mostly because I have been in constant battle with my demons and temptations to fall of the wagon.

Well, tonight I fell, not as hard as I could have, not as bad as the planned “cheat day” I have in my future when I deserve one. No, tonight was the culmination of the past seven days catching up with me. This past week, I have had 4 social nights of drinking alcohol. Crazy.  And I made the mistake of stepping on the scale this morning and finding out that I have gained 3 pounds. and have been stalled for 2 weeks with my weight.  I cried this morning. I sobbed actually. I cried because in these past two weeks, I have struggled with the temptations of my past. I have had fantasies about nachos and chocolate cake, and while I never indulged, I have craved, wanted, and denied myself of the two things I have wanted the most. NOT EVEN ONCE did I cave in. My master plan of a cheat day is to go to the Cheesecake Factory and order a plate of Nachos and then after a slice of chocolate cake. Instead, I have been a social butterfly and had 4 nights of drinking… I might as well have had my cheat day at the cheesecake factory.  This past week, I gave found myself struggling with my motivation, it just simply wasn’t there! My attitude was lack-luster, my resolve was luke-warm. It sucked.

This morning.  I found myself 3 pounds heavier ( after tonight I am sure it will be heavier).  I went over to a friend’s house tonight and played a drinking game version of Yahtzee. It was fun, and I lost miserably. While I lost, I managed to eat 4 taquitos, drink 5 vodka tonics and then come home to gobble down a slice of pizza and a bbq chicken wrap. Needless to say, I will not be wanting to step on the scale for at least a week. I am disappointed in myself.

I don’t even know if I will be in keto in the morning, and if I am, I will be shocked, more shocked than I have ever been in a long long time. I have been disappointed and discouraged all day, and that led me to a point where I caved into my weakness. I am not proud. My belly feels stuffed full of carby things that I am ashamed to have eaten. I had a good run of 2 months of strict keto. And I had a weak moment and a morose attitude today.  But… I am moving forward. I am not going to let this determine the outcome of 1) my diet or 2) my determination.

I failed tonight. I did. I failed. But tomorrow, I am starting all over again. When you fall off the horse, you get back on. And that is what I going to do. I might have failed tonight, but that doesn’t mean all this hard work up until tonight has been for nothing. I refuse to let all this hard work go to waste. I cannot do that. I have worked so hard, and I have been so proud of myself. I cannot let tonight be the downfall.  Instead, I will use this as a learning experience, and if not a learning experience, a new starting point.  I knew this whole time while I had such a winning streak that there would come a day where I would fall flat on my face…  I just didn’t know that today was going to be that day.

Instead of regretting and lamenting, I am going to be thankful for the fucking delicious taquitos, pizza and alcohol. Next time I mess up this badly, it’s going to be much much worse and ON PURPOSE. Maybe after my next 15 pounds lost mark, I will go to the Cheesecake Factory and make these fantasies come true. But until then, I am going to hop back on the horse. I am going to document exactly how badly this falling on my face has been. I think I owe it not only to myself to be transparent and honest, but to those who have followed my blog up until this point as well. Hopefully, I will find some strength in it.

I write this with a drunk, heavy heart. It’s time to go to bed and time TO GET MY ACT TOGETHER!

Ugh….

I will report tomorrow with damages done and my plan to get my act back together.  Sorry I let myself down…

-Shana

Listen to your body- Week 9, Day 7

This concept has proven to be a difficult one for me to grasp in the past. It’s easy to confuse the mind with the body when you don’t work at differentiating the two. Mind says one thing and the body says another (same goes for matters of the heart). It’s also easy for the mind to impose itself on the body.

“My body deserves this piece of chocolate cake.”

“I can get away with eating a handful (or 2 or 10) of Doritos.”

Do any of these sound familiar?  They were familiar to me also a couple of months ago, and sometimes my mind still tries to talk me into things I shouldn’t do. But today I had the opposite problem with my mind speaking for my body…

As you dear readers know, I am quite heavily into motivation. I post pictures of it, I talk about it nonstop, I vow nearly every post to that I will never give up. Well, I have many new phrases stuck in my head from listening to this amazing motivational speaker that I found online, and one  goes ” You have to want to succeed more than you want to sleep”.

Here is where my story comes into play. This morning I rose early with plans of going to a garage sale, picking up breakfast for my family and then hitting the gym. Sometime between the garage sale and the grocery store, I had an allergic reaction to something. I do not know what. I was covered on my legs and arms with red itchy spots. I was so incredibly uncomfortable that I took a healthy dose of Benadryl.  And just like that my plans to go to the gym became severely compromised. I could barely keep my eyes open. But the words

” you have to want to succeed more than you want to sleep”

kept playing on repeat in my head. I got my gym clothes on, and the kids got their bathing suits, I was determined to go to the gym. I want to succeed more than I want to sleep… Well, I walked into the building and I felt like I was going to fall asleep while standing. It was at this point I realized. I need to listen to my body, there was no way my mind could push through the sleepy haze I found myself in.

So, I listened and went back home and slept all afternoon, and woke up to clear skin. Success of a different kind.

I ended up eating a tortilla and fried breaded chicken for lunch because I was exhausted and hungry. This made the pain of not getting to the gym worse, BUT… I am going on a run tonight. So, Everything ended up just fine after all. I will just pretend this afternoon never happened  I will run my best tonight and work that much harder at spin class tomorrow. It’s all good.

Off course I wouldn’t sign off my blog tonight without leaving you a piece of encouragement and motivation. Here is the video I was talking about.

The words really resonate, very motivating.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog and sharing this little bit of life with me!

milestones and motivation – Week 9, Day 5

image

Motivation. I am drunk with it. I have been for 9 weeks. I live every day thinking about it, eating with it in mind, working out with it, when I lay my head down to sleep at night I think about it and then I dream about it. In my mind I have this vision of where my body can be if I keep working HARD. How my body will look if I keep pushing my limits in the gym. I am proud of myself for everyday that I stay true to my goals. This is what keeps me going more than anything else. I know that I didn’t get fat overnight, and I also know that I won’t get thin overnight either.

Last week I had gone to the doctor to get my blood work done. I want to make sure that my diet is making my body happy. My muscles may be as uncomfortable as all get out, but I need my organs to be running top notch. I stepped on the scale, and the medical assistant wrote it down. 163lbs. When the doctor came in, I asked her what I had weighed on my previous visit last February. 189lbs. yikes!!

Yesterday, I stepped on the scale, and this is what I saw.

image

Lets do some math : 189 – 158.5 = 30.5 🙂 I have officially lost 30 pounds!

I was elated! I still am. I celebrated last night with a couple of glasses of wine with my dear friend, ended up pretty toasted and woke up this morning with a terrible hangover. Feeling like I was hit by a truck, I threw on my gym clothes and went to spin class with a raging headache and nausea. Typically, I am pretty good at keeping up with the instructor but this morning, I was dragging. Hard. By the time class was over, I was feeling unsatisfied with my performance, and sick. So, I went home, rested, napped, and ate. Sometime around dinner, I decided I was going back to the gym. I HAD to get my satisfaction. And I DID! I feel so much better 🙂 30 mins on the treadmill doing 4mph on an incline up to 8.5. I kicked my ass. Also, did 10 mins of abs.

I wanted to share a picture of me in Feb. when I was at my heaviest, and one that I took yesterday of my face for comparison.

image

I’m not at my goal yet, but it feels damn good to see progress! Really.Damn.Good.

Things just got interesting (Week 9, Day 3)

image

It used to be that I could maintain my keto eating separately from my family. But, now that I am jobless, this changes things in a big way. Now, I have to feed myself on keto and keep 4 other bellies full on 120$ a week. This brings a whole new challenge into my life! Before I had financial wiggle room and could spread my wings and buy all sorts of keto-centric things, Not anymore! Luckily, I have all my staples pretty well stocked and that’s where the majority of the expense is. I am slightly stressed about this, but like being on a diet and a workout schedule. This will be a challenge I will face head on. I am not about to let all the hard work I have put into this (9 weeks, 3 days) go to waste and go back to the old way of eating. I just flat-out refuse! This might mean, however, that I have to change HOW I keto… Frozen veggies, cheap cuts of meat. Which ( if I was smart), I would have been doing all along. leave ti to me, to stress out about things like this AFTER the fact. After I quit working, after I blow all my money at the grocery store without planning ahead. *sigh* This is how I learn though, by fucking up and finding out how to fix it. So, I guess, it’s an ass-backwards positive thing.

The new challenges I face make the whole initial premise of this blog seem like mere child’s play. Now, instead of focusing my efforts on just my will-power and determination, I have to make room for the menu-planning, sale-searching, deal-finding side of things. UGH. Boooooooo! Reminds me of those terrible reality shows of obsessive coupon clippers. I refuse to go that route.

In light of everything going on in life, I got to catch up with a dear friend over couple cups of coffee and catch up on things, it was nice! Afterwards with my newly found caffeine buzz, I felt like going to the gym! And found my other buddy there. haha!
I ended up doing 35 minutes of cardio, and lifted weights. How much can Shana lift?? a whopping 5 lbs per arm. I know, I know… curb your enthusiasm. When lifting with both arms I can lift… *drum roll please* 10lbs! hahah! But I’m not worried, today was the first day I even tried to lift. I plan on working on arms at least 2x a week. Strength and Toning and whatnot. Baby steps.

Time for me to inventory my pantry and fridge, and then clean. At least I started the day doing fun stuff. 🙂

See ya tomorrow!

– Shana