I’m writing you this to let you know 2 things. The first one is, I’m breaking up with you. The second one is, I’m kicking you out. So, let this letter serve as your eviction notice as well.
I know you have been living here for over 10 years, that I have been feeding you, and that you basically could get mail delivered here. But, the fact of the matter is, I am sick of looking at you, you do nothing but weigh me down and make me feel bad. I want to be able to look in the mirror and be like “Damn, I look good.”, not “Damn, I look fat.” I know that I have been enabling you to stay here, I know that it’s my fault that I let this toxic relationship go on for as long as it has. None of that matters now. What matters is that I am responsible for my happiness and that happiness doesn’t involve you in any way. So, I am going to keep up on my keto, and I am going to WORK MY ASS OFF to lose you. I know you are stubborn, but I am more stubborn and this is my body. Plus, since I have been running and eating better, I have been starting to see some muscles that live right beneath you. My god, muscles are damn sexy. SO MUCH SEXIER than you! AND muscles make me feel better about myself, make me feel sexy, too! I feel proud when I am seen with muscles. I would like to see more of them. I am choosing muscles over you. Bye, fat.